Personal

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Why is it that what you want the most becomes least likely what you get?

Why is it that when things seem to be going right, some miniscule element in the universe conspires to deprive you of that happiness?

When things are meant to go wrong, why do they happen in the first place?

Why does the one good thing that you yearn for become the reason for all chaos in life?

Why should one of the best things that have ever happened to you be let go?

Why is it so hard to recognize genuine people dangling in front of your eyes?

Why does callousness rule the hour?

Why does Silicon Carbide seem to be softer than some people?

Why does Hades seem to be stronger than Zeus?

Why doesn’t anything matter anymore?

Why doesn’t the pain inflicted further deepen the scar?

Why is this vacuum in life so unfathomable?

Mr. Murphy, do you have any answers?

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Sorry seems to be the right word to say. . .

As children, we are taught to say “I am sorry” whenever we make a mistake, or hurt someone. At that stage in life, “thank you” and “sorry” have a lot of meaning. But as we grow into “mature” individuals, ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank You’ seem to lose their significance, because of the callousness and apathy that the ways of the world infuse in us.

Many a time, inevitable misunderstandings surface in relationships, for which the reasons may be very trivial. A simple misunderstanding may keep an otherwise happy person brooding over the absurd issue for a long time.

When we unknowingly hurt a person close to us, with the intention of setting things right by making him/her repent for his/her mistake; there is a tinge of this acquired indifference that shows clearly. But when that person hurts us, and is genuinely feeling bad about it, all the pain caused seems to vanish. “I am sorry” are the three magic words that bring you back to the zealous realm of life; making you feel why you bothered to make such a fuss out of it in the first place.

The anguish induced by the thought, that the person whom we pine so much for can distance themselves from us due to this misunderstanding, seems to be more to take than the pain inflicted by him/her when he/she hurt us. At this point of time, when emotions transcend ego, Sorry seems to be the right word to say.

This post goes out to all people whom I have hurt, knowingly or unknowingly.

P.S : This is a random post and doesn’t reflect any particular incident

Cram-Man Begins..

The following text is an example of an imaginary conversation that happens during exams, between the good and the evil halves of every normal engineering student’s mind.


NOTE: This has been hugely inspired by “The Dark Knight” and “Batman Begins”. Watching these will help in better comprehension of the dialogue.


Key: VTU – A university named after one of the best engineers India has ever produced.

Tanenbaum, Ayala : Authors of textbooks which we usually fail to comprehend.



This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object…


Encounter 1:

The Joker: Now there’s a Cram-man.

The Cram-man: Constitution and professional ethics.? I’ve seen now what I would have to become to study subjects like these.

The Joker: Ahaha-Aha-Ee-Ooh-Aha, And I thought my jokes were bad. Madness is like gravity, all it needs is a little push..! How about watching another season of “Friends”?

Cram Man finishes watching a full season of Friends.

The Joker: Ta-da.. The day’s gone…!

Encounter 2:

CM: 5 days for Microcontroller 8051? I guess one day should be more than enough as I am already exposed to the antics of 8085 and 8086. I can take down Ayala single handedly..

Joker: AH-A-AHAA-A.. Lets not blow this out of proportion.. This book deserves a better class of student and you are going to give it to him.

CM: But still, 5 days is a long break for one subject. And the exams go on for almost a month. Why can’t they finish them off in a week or two.?

Joker: Do you want to know why they have exams for this long? Days are too quick. You can’t savor all of the… little… frustrations. You see, in their… last moments before an exam, students show you what they really are capable of.

Encounter 3:

Joker: Why so serious?

CM: Computer Communication Networks. I knew VTU wouldn’t go down without a fight. But this is different. They’ve crossed the line. Only one day to cram and a whole Tanenbaum to devour. I should’ve planned my study better. How can VTU do this to me?

Joker: The lecturers have plans. VTU has plans. They’re schemers. There’s no going back. You’ve changed things. All VTU does is, introduce a little anarchy…upset the established order…and everything becomes chaos. VTU is an agent of chaos

Encounter 4:

CM: 5 days holidays for Operating Systems.. YAY…!!! Thanks to VLSI which is postponed by 20 days. Let me start off cramming my head with the “Virtual Memory” chapter.

Joker: Never start with Virtual Memory. The victim gets all fuzzy.

[After 3 hours of unsuccessful cramming]

Joker: See?

CM: What am I going to write? Anyway; it’s not what knowledge I have in me, but what I write that defines me. Some universities are not looking for anything logical, they just want to watch the world cram..

Encounter 5:

CM: I can’t believe VTU makes us study even on New Year’s Eve.! And makes us write an exam on January 1st..! Damn these exams..

Joker: It’s a funny world we live in. The only sensible way to live is without rules. Welcome to a world without rules. And tonight you’re gonna break your one rule. Tonight, you won’t study because of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. You’ll rather celebrate New Year instead.. And VTU will not stop torturing you, because that is just too much fun..! I think you and VTU are destined to do this forever..!

Is she the one?

What is it in her that makes my heart skip so many beats in quick succession?

What is it in her that takes me to a world that is as irrational and surreal as a dream?

What is it in her that makes my thumping heartbeat audible in traffic that scores notes way above 80dB?

What is it in her that makes my stomach do a back flip?

What is it in her that gives me goose bumps the moment she comes into my mental façade?

What is it in her that makes all but her fuzzy?

What is it in her that spurs in me an adrenaline rush?

What is it in her that spews chaos into my mundane spirit?

What is it in her that stirs the ‘eternal’ tranquil in me?

Is it her nonchalant smile which has the uncanny ability to make eons seem like seconds?

Is it her bustling hair which ruffles in the exhilarating zephyr?

Is it her piercing eyes that make each of my biological cells lose their cohesion?

Is it the aura of romance that she brings into every path she treads?

Is it her glimmer with which she accentuates the ambience?

Or is it just her elegant allure?

Is she the one?

Some answers are worth waiting for a lifetime….

Seize the day..!


“I want to put a dent in the universe.” – Steven P Jobs, CEO : Apple Inc.

Every one of us born in this world has a purpose of life that has to be fulfilled. There today, gone tomorrow. There is very little time left with us. And in this limited time, something worthwhile needs to be done. The important thing here is to realize the purpose of life, and that every other person whom you look at, meet, talk to, scorn at, or even completely despise has his/her own purpose in life; and that person has set out to achieve it. You and I are nobody to question/ridicule/ undermine his/her abilities to realize their dreams.

There are times when you feel low, let down, betrayed, disappointed, failing to reach the expectation you set for yourself. Those times can be arduous for the mentally frail. But the sheer inspiration derived by telling oneself that he is on this part of the universe to achieve something can bail him out of the tough times. We are mostly living a life for others, ever enclosed and enslaved by social dogma. Many of the times we may not even realize what we are in here for..! Life today has become so very monotonous and abeyant that we hardly think of what we truly want to be. It is when we think that we transcend the limits of this materialistic domain, and set out on the path to self-discovery.

There are two ways of looking at life.

One is to live every day as if it were the last day of life. “If today were the last day of my life, what would I want to do? Will I be happy doing that?” That way, we would see to it that the best things are done on that day. [this thought is borrowed from The Stanford address by Steve Jobs]

Another way is to see everyday as the first day of the remainder of your life. Leave the past behind. The future is yet to be explored. That way you feel your whole life is out there, waiting for you, to be lived to the fullest..! Many goals to be achieved, plans to be made, situations to be analysed, people to be loved and finally laurels to be earned..!!! Either way is good, because we make our day better.

And finally one day, death happens; irrespective of whether the person has achieved his purpose or not. Death is a common destination that all of us share. Every beginning should have an end; every rise, a fall; every positive, a negative; every yin, a yang; every baritone, a soprano; to restore the balance back in the system. Death can be a huge driving factor in making you do what you truly want to do. All ego, pride, embarrassment, anger, guilt vanishes in the face of death; leaving only what is most essential. Death is truly a cardinal rule..!

Realizing one’s true worth is definitely an essential purpose of life..!

I would like to end by quoting Steve Jobs – “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

PS : Thanks Saaya for suggesting this title for the post, away from the cliche’ “Purpose of life”

Confessions of a cluttered mind…

Sometimes people we like the most, and confide the maximum in, do things that we do not like or approve of, ultimately hurting us in the process. We react in a seemingly inappropriate manner, kindling reactions well undeserved and thereby further intensifying the problem.

What’s the reason? I can’t say for sure. Any of the parties involved may have erred. Or it may simply be emotions like jealousy, neglect, apathy, indifference, anger, guilt, shame.. I wont term these to be negative, it happens to all of us; either at the receiving end or even worse, unknowingly doing it to someone else. It can also arise from expectations, small things that you expect from people around, and they don’t even treat you to that basic courtesy. Sometimes, you just feel like cutting off all contact with the person [irrespective of who the erring party is], and saying [as the famous dialogue from ‘Gone with the wind’ goes] “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”..! and also seeking vengeance.. GIVING him a taste of his own medicine. But this, when done doesn’t actually make you any different from the person who caused you the problem. So why bother doing that? Instead remaining your same good self can atleast put you way above that person. Control of emotions can go a long way in keeping healthy relationships. This is when detachment comes in.. Often, it’s time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do.

And hypocrisy.. Oh My God..! Hypocrisy rules the world today.. there is always a bunch of people around you who say something [so that you don’t do it] and actually DO something else [which you would have done otherwise, hadn’t they intervened]. Selfish losers..! [if I may borrow the term..!] there is always someone around you who seeks the slightest of opportunities to pull you down. People take you for granted most of the times when you are being nice to them. Sometimes, we find the need to be detached from some of the events happening around, or from the people around, to restore normalcy and balance back into our lives..

Be the same as you already are. Retain your Goodness Quotient. Always change your attitudes for the better. Don’t trust everyone you meet, not everyone is as good as you are..! And finally, remain detached from the people around, not all of them are as good as you think they actually are….