Confessions of a cluttered mind…

Sometimes people we like the most, and confide the maximum in, do things that we do not like or approve of, ultimately hurting us in the process. We react in a seemingly inappropriate manner, kindling reactions well undeserved and thereby further intensifying the problem.

What’s the reason? I can’t say for sure. Any of the parties involved may have erred. Or it may simply be emotions like jealousy, neglect, apathy, indifference, anger, guilt, shame.. I wont term these to be negative, it happens to all of us; either at the receiving end or even worse, unknowingly doing it to someone else. It can also arise from expectations, small things that you expect from people around, and they don’t even treat you to that basic courtesy. Sometimes, you just feel like cutting off all contact with the person [irrespective of who the erring party is], and saying [as the famous dialogue from ‘Gone with the wind’ goes] “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”..! and also seeking vengeance.. GIVING him a taste of his own medicine. But this, when done doesn’t actually make you any different from the person who caused you the problem. So why bother doing that? Instead remaining your same good self can atleast put you way above that person. Control of emotions can go a long way in keeping healthy relationships. This is when detachment comes in.. Often, it’s time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do.

And hypocrisy.. Oh My God..! Hypocrisy rules the world today.. there is always a bunch of people around you who say something [so that you don’t do it] and actually DO something else [which you would have done otherwise, hadn’t they intervened]. Selfish losers..! [if I may borrow the term..!] there is always someone around you who seeks the slightest of opportunities to pull you down. People take you for granted most of the times when you are being nice to them. Sometimes, we find the need to be detached from some of the events happening around, or from the people around, to restore normalcy and balance back into our lives..

Be the same as you already are. Retain your Goodness Quotient. Always change your attitudes for the better. Don’t trust everyone you meet, not everyone is as good as you are..! And finally, remain detached from the people around, not all of them are as good as you think they actually are….

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16 comments

  1. That was deep!…the reason behind it?!?!…*wondering*…is something worng?

    “Be the same as you already are. Retain your Goodness Quotient. Always change your attitudes for the better. Don’t trust everyone you meet, not everyone is as good as you are..! And finally, remain detached from the people around, not all of them are as good as you think they actually are….”

    I agree with every word, but only if i could live up to it. BUT its hard to remain detached. There are times when you need people to talk to.Well, i guess you just have to learn to judge people,smthing i am horrible at 😦

  2. Looks like you have been introspecting too. Wish I could detach myself from a few ppl…..for the past few years I have been hitting myself with a dagger and getting hurt badly in the process….the worst part is, I’m getting used to it now.

  3. @Nick-yes, i cant help musing over these things. but am learning to detach myself from ppl worth detaching from [tho am still pretty bad at it..!], and as for ur wounds man, first stop adding salt water to the existing ones [the ‘getting used to’ part], and then stop the stabbing altogether.. it takes time to learn.. and also heal.

  4. @Bhargavi – no specific reason as such, certain events and observations all these years.. it sure is hard to remain detached, but time is the best healer. and by detachment, i dont mean that u shd stop talking to ppl, its just that ‘mind your own business’ kinda thought, and not delve too much into certain issues.

  5. “Any of the parties involved may have erred. Or it may simply be emotions like jealousy, neglect, apathy, indifference, anger, guilt, shame..”

    Sometimes both parties may not be at fault at all. Circumstances force ppl to react and that can also lead to others getting hurt…

  6. Another “Speaking tree” article!!
    n yeah ur right..ppl who dont matter to us are not in the framework at all.. n if ppl who matter to us do things we dont approve of..then the best way to come out unhurt would be not to expect anything from anyone..i know its pretty hard…but thats the only way out..

  7. What’s the inspiration behind this?

    I can so much relate to this. Over the years, I’m learning how complicated relationships can get. And yes, best to maintain that much of distance with people. In the end, it’s only family and you that will be the closest.

    And hypocrisy, god, tell me about it. It may not be just to pull you down.. It also gets to me when people keep changing their stance on something to suit the circumstance. I feel the most horrible when I end up doing something like that and I think I’ve taken care of that now.

    Liked your writing. Haven’t read the others, but the title on gtalk was intriguing and led me here.

  8. @Sharanya – Thanks for checking out this entry.. 🙂 Regarding the inspiration, i ll let u know on gtalk. and as u’ve rightly said, its family that remains with u thru thick and thin. There are may opportunists out there who take good ppl for granted, and change their stances to make sure they stay out of trouble even if it is at the cost of someone’s feelings. Hypocrisy rules..! Nothing much can be done abt it. What can’t be cured must be endured..! And i shd say am getting better at the enduring part..!

  9. yes all the feelings of jealousy, neglect, apathy, indifference are common to all.I too am in the “detachment from some” process.But in the process, just so that we dont get hurt we are changing ourselves to be something we are not. when we meet new people, we are scared of trusting them. N in my opinion in any relation we’ll ‘ve some level of expectation even though we try not to.
    so not trusting others or not expecting is not really a permanent solution. i donno the solution either 🙂

  10. Yes, expectation will be there. It must be overcome. Only if u expect something from a person, and that person doesn’t do it, there is a problem. Instead, u don’t expect stuff, no issues. Or rather, let me put it this way, expect less from anyone.

  11. Ash, u are showing signs of evolving into a complete human being!!! “To err is human” is a popular saying and u can not escape it wherever u go or whatever u do:)The greatest irony in life is “man is afraid of his own kind”.Innocence is drowned in our every day struggle and the world has started ‘falling apart’ beneath our feet.
    “To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield”should be the bottomline 🙂

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